So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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