areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize