Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
