I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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