All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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