I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
how does that bad decision feel?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
