I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize