I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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