Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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