we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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