'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
