he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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