just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
