you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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