yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The power of my boobs compel you
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize