take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
