I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
