no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
