how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
