Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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