My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
