I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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