I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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