it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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