i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
