tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
