every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
