Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize