He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to make out with him forever
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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