YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
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Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
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I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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