at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I want you more than these girls want KFC
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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