He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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