I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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