Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
