remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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