I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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