So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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