fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
