Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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