I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
