Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
