Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
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There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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