I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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