I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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