hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
