Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
