with your own penis?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
