Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
