I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
