Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
