He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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