i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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