So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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