reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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