Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
