She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My balls are so social today.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
