I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
