That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
