i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
