Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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