I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Your cock deserves a montage
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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