I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
