Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
