Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
