covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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